God had another plan

What a weekend. As we were gearing up for surgery that was suppose to happen yesterday, poor sweet Emme was blindsided with pneumonia. I guess blindsided is not the appropriate word since our the doctor had been amazed that she went so long without an infection. So instead of recovering from surgery this week she is recovering from pneumonia. Like the title reads, God had other plans.

So after a collapsed lung and fighting 2 ventilators Emme is now trying to come down from her paint meds since finally coming off the ventilators yesterday. Babies sometimes go through withdrawals when they are on pain medicine. Even though she wasn't on the meds for a long time she seems to be having some mild withdrawal symptoms. Mainly just being very fussy. I will say I had a great mommy moment Yesterday. I had been holding her for the first time in 5 days for about 2 hours and I went to put her back in bed. She was kind of fussy so I gave her her pacifier which seemed to calm her...at first. After multiple attempts to sooth with a pacifier our nurse suggested that maybe she just wanted her mommy. Stunned from this since Emmeline has never really acted like she wanted to be held since she is a preemie , I gladly scooped her back up and she calmed right down. I hated that she had been upset but I loved that she just wanted back in my arms. Any mom out there reading this could surely understand being needed byyour baby for the first time. I guess in mom situations breastfeeding is a first instance of being needed and wanted by your baby but in my case since Emme can't breastfeed yet this was the first time I really ever felt needed. It was a great moment for me.

Emme will be on her antibiotics until about Monday and then should have her esophogus repaired by surgery sometime next week. Until then we will enjoy her being alert and acting like a true newborn, needing mommy and daddy and wanting her pacifier. It's things like this and changing her diaper that are taken for granted by so many. I would kill to hold bay baby in my arms anytime I wanted and not have to ask permission. I would gladly change a disgusting poopy diaper if my baby could even have a popy diaper. I would gladly stay up all night trying console my sweet angel if I could just sleep in the same building as her. These are all things I can't wait to do with our precious miracle of a child and I hope by reading this that anyone who has a baby at home will take a moment and enjoy changing a diaper or the lack of sleep just for one day and remember that there is an entire hospital full of children whose parents cannot bask in the daily "chores" of being a mom......Yet.

"Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with THANKFULNESS"
COLASSIANS 2:6-7